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It has come to another point in life where I start to think back and reflect on what I’ve been doing so far. I haven’t got a habit of reflecting or rather, have lost that habit of it. Laziness has got the better of me. Slacking hours in my internship isn’t doing any good to me as well. I think I got so complacent of the fast-paced Singapore that I wanted to slow down the pace on my own, a little to slow for now.
All along I’ve been wanting to do more, for the Kingdom as well as for myself. I ended up not accomplishing much of both. Unity is one value I see as one of the most important but I haven’t been very united to those around me, or put in the effort to do so.
Generally, things in my life have become rather fake. It wasn’t much of people pleasing anymore but I’ve become self-pleasing, self-centered. How can I get others to be less self-centered if I myself am not setting a good example. Its easy to fake. But spirit is caught, not taught. The spirit wasn’t in me to begin with.
I don’t know what God’s gonna do in my life, I’m so confused and directionless. I know He needs to deal with me before I can progress further, or I’ll just fall deeper into the pit.
What am I doing in life? What/who am I living for? Somehow the answers to those questions are no longer as straightforward and clear-cut as before.
Back to basic, back to my first love.
God, please guide me back to the right track. Lead me by hand back into your arms. I can’t do this alone.
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